Big Girls Do It Married Page 6

  "Give us a minute, Jamie, will you?"

  "Jeff--"

  "It'll be fine. I'm fine. She's fine. We're fine. Just...go make sure he's gone, okay?"

  Jamie searched Jeff's face, seemed to see something that satisfied her, and left, closing the door behind her.

  Jeff turned to me, and suddenly his face was soft once more, the anger gone. He crouched in front of me, lifted the towel to cover me. He took my hands and lifted me to my feet. Adrenaline had been rushing through me, but it abandoned me right then, and my knees buckled. Jeff caught me, lifted me effortlessly, carried me into my room, closed the door behind us with his heel, and set me on the bed. The towel covering me slipped once more as I fell back against the pillow, and Jeff tugged the sheet up over me.

  The bed dipped as he sat beside me, brushing my hair out of my face. "Everything is okay, Anna," he said. "I saw what happened."

  "What'd you see?" I could barely muster a whisper.

  "I came up the stairs and saw your door standing open. I panicked for a second. I worried someone had broken in, but then I saw pretty--I saw Chase kissing you. I saw red, and I nearly lost it. I wanted to rip him apart."

  "He just showed up," I said. "I thought it was you coming up. I had just gotten out of the shower, so I was in my towel. I was...I was thinking we could...you know, before we went to dinner so I was...turned on. I was thinking about you. I wanted you. And then it was him, and he didn't even say anything. He just walked in the open door and kissed me. I didn't want him to kiss me, I swear. It took me by so much surprise that I couldn't think. And...I honestly do have this automatic reaction to him. I know you'll probably think it's bullshit, but it's like this instinctive reaction, and I can't control it. I just...can't think."

  Jeff's mouth opened, but I spoke over him.

  "I tried to stop it right away, but I couldn't--"

  "Did he force you?" Jeff asked. The anger in his eyes flared up again.

  "No, not like that. No. He didn't hurt me, and he would have stopped. He did stop, when I managed to get myself together and tell him to. I don't know why--I can't--"

  "I get it, Anna." He took my hands in his, tugged me toward him. "I saw. You pushed him away. I heard what you said."

  "You're not mad at me?" I was suddenly shaking, terrified, even though he was still here holding my hands, that he'd leave me. "I heard your footsteps on the stairs, and I--I knew if you saw him kissing me, you'd--you'd leave, you wouldn't love me."

  Jeff pulled me to my feet and pressed our bodies together, holding the sheet in place. "I love you. I admit, when I first saw you guys like you were, I did think you'd chosen him after all. I was set to walk away."

  "Jeff, I don't know what it is with him. I know I'm not in love with him. And I didn't want him to kiss me. But when he did, I still felt...I don't know how to put it--"

  Jeff cut me off. "Anna, you had a thing with him. He's a good-looking guy. I can see how he'd be exciting to be around, I really do. Don't like to think about you with him, but I can see it."

  "That's it exactly. He was exciting. He is exciting." I wrapped my arms around his waist. "But he's not you."

  "And I'm not exciting," Jeff said with a lift of his eyebrow.

  "Jeff, you're exactly who you're supposed to be, and that's who I'm in love with. Exciting wears off. For me, at least. You're what I want."

  "So you like me even though I'm boring, huh?" Jeff smiled as he said it to make it seem like a joke, but I sensed he wasn't entirely kidding.

  "You're not boring," I said. "You're exciting in your own way."

  "How's that?"

  "You're sexy. You're sweet and steady and considerate. You're amazing in bed."

  "Steady?" Another inquisitive lift of the eyebrow.

  "Yeah, steady. Dependable. Responsible." I planted a kiss on his jaw next to his chin.

  His mouth slanted down to catch mine. "Those aren't exciting traits, sweetheart."

  "No, but they're yours, and they're what I've fallen in love with. You're always there when I need you. I don't think a lot of guys would have stuck around long enough to find out the truth about what just happened. They would've taken one look and run." I ran my fingertips through his hair, tracing around his ear to the back of his head. "You didn't. You gave me the benefit of the doubt."

  "Yeah, that part wasn't easy. I knew you liked him, and I had to wonder if maybe you liked him more, since he was all rock star and whatever. Leather pants and tattoos and shit."

  "You could wear leather pants," I said, smiling at the mental image.

  "I'd look stupid," Jeff said.

  "I don't know about that," I said. "I think you might look pretty damn sexy."

  "Hmmm. Don't know about that."

  "Maybe I'll buy you a pair. You can wear them just for me."

  "Guess we'll see." Jeff's palms ran over my shoulders and smoothed down my spine, stopping at the swell of my ass. "You should get dressed, or we won't make it to dinner."

  His eyes were wide and dark with desire, now. I wanted to erase the memory of the last ten minutes from my mind, and his. I leaned away from him to let the towel drop to the floor between us. Jeff breathed deeply, his nostrils flaring, his eyes raking down my body.

  "We have a few minutes, don't we?" I breathed.

  "Maybe just a few," Jeff agreed, pushing me backward to my room.

  I let him push me until the door was closed behind us, then, keeping my eyes locked on his, I turned to face the bed, climbed up on to it on all fours and presented my ass to him.

  Jeff grinned, reaching for his belt buckle. I watched him over my shoulder as he stripped down. He was about to take his socks off when I spoke up.

  "Leave the socks on," I suggested.

  He paused. "Why? Isn't that weird? Sex in socks?"

  I giggled. "Sex in socks. Sounds like a kinky Dr. Seuss book. It's funny. A guy wearing nothing but a giant hard on and dress socks is just...funny, in a hot sort of way."

  Jeff laughed crawling onto the bed behind me. "Sex in socks it is, then." He knelt behind me, running his hands over my ass, up my back and down again. "You look so hot like this, all spread out for me."

  "Come on, Jeff, take the leap, put it in and take me deep," I said, in a sing-songy Dr. Seuss voice.

  Jeff sputtered into laughter, bending over me. "Oh, god, Anna. You did not just rhyme at me, did you?"

  "I think I did. Can you come up with anything better, kid?"

  Jeff slid his palm up the inside of my thighs, a slow and gentle touch. His finger drifted up to my spread opening, dipped in and back out. "Of course I can rhyme. I'm a singer, I do it all the time."

  He spoke in a soft lilting voice, slipping two fingers into me, curling into my G-spot and scraping across it. His other hand joined his first, brushing across my clit with his finger, drawing a gasp from me.

  "That doesn't count--we're rhyming about sex. I wanna see those muscles flex."

  "When it comes to rhyming, you kind of suck." He touched drew his finger around my clit in slow circles until my hips began to rock with his rhythm.

  "Quit talking so...we can fuck," I gasped.

  Jeff laughed, a deep rumble in his chest as he delved his two fingers deeper into my wet pussy, then pulled out and touched his pinky finger to my other, tighter hole. I sucked in a sharp breath at the unexpected contact, then relaxed and pushed back into his hand, encouraging him. He pressed lightly at first, pulsing with his pinky in slow waves until I felt the hard ring of muscles give way, allowing his smallest finger in. My entire body convulsed as he pushed in, ever so carefully. Each time he circled my clit, causing me to quiver and buck my hips, he pushed a little deeper with his pinky.

  I collapsed forward onto my forearms, my face buried in the blanket as he penetrated me, unable to think or string words together. My thighs shook with the onset of orgasm, and as the climax rose, I felt Jeff remove his fingers from my pussy and replace them with the broad tip of his cock, touching at first, splitting my n
ether lips with his hot, hard head.

  His pinky stayed in place, though, and when he thrust himself slowly in, he matched his inward pulse with his pinky. My hands fisted into the covers and I pulled myself forward as he pulled out, then, with a shuddering outbreath, slammed my body backward into him.

  I couldn't stop the muffled shriek from escaping my lips as his finger drove into me to the last knuckle, his cock driving into my farthest wall. Jeff growled low in his throat, one hand gripping my hip and pulling me into him. He was holding himself to his typical Jeff pace, slow and deep strokes. I wanted him to lose control, if only for a moment. I rocked my hips again, a high-pitched gasp erupting from me, and I felt Jeff jerk into me, once, hard, and then force himself to slow down and go gently.

  I turned my head to look at him over my shoulder. His eyes were closed, his head thrown back, his spine arched into a curve as he pushed into me. I rolled my hips, a small pulse at first, and his lips parted as he matched the thrust; I moved harder, and he thrust in synch with me.

  I began to rock my ass onto his cock with desperate force, feeling the orgasm still bubbling inside me, not quite there yet, but so close. I let my need overtake me, still watching Jeff as he began to sway forward, bending at the waist to crash harder and harder. His palm slid up my back to rest between my shoulder blades, and I rose up on my hands again, shuddering back and forth with my entire body to meet his thrusts.

  Now the climax rose again, and this time it boiled through me, cresting as he came inside me, growling through gritted teeth as he thrust hard, fast, and relentless. I let my voice rise unfettered to match his, plunging backward into his crushing thrusts, wave after wave of orgasm blinding me, ripping screams from me, pleasure so potent it seemed nearly painful threading between the pulses of my heartbeat, the pulses of Jeff's hard body against my soft one.

  The waves lessened with the slowing of his thrusts, leaving me limp on the bed. Jeff extracted himself from me and lay down beside me.

  "God, every time I think making love to you can't get more intense..." Jeff said, panting.

  "I swear it gets better every time," I said, "which I didn't think was possible."

  Jeff curled up behind me, kissing the back of my neck. "I can't believe you started rhyming."

  "It was pretty cheesy, wasn't it?"

  He laughed, his breath huffing hot on my skin. "It was awful. But cute."

  "Awful?" I protested, twisting in his arms to face him. "Like your rhymes were any better?"

  He just laughed and kissed me. "Of course they were. Let's go get cleaned up again."

  We rinsed off, dressed, and left, barely making our reservation in time. Jeff seemed distracted through dinner. I let it go until the very end of our meal.

  I sipped from my wine and then reached for Jeff's hand. "What's bugging you?" I asked.

  "Nothing's bugging me," he said, idly twisting the ring on my finger.

  "Okay, whatever," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

  He grunted a laugh. "Fine, then. I guess I'm just wondering, now that you've agreed to marry me, how long of an engagement you're thinking."

  "I hadn't really thought about it at all, honestly. I've only had, like, a day to get used to the idea that I said yes." I rolled the cloth napkin into a tight spiral. "What are you thinking?"

  He shrugged. "I don't know, either. I know I love you, and I'm personally ready whenever you are. If it were only up to me, I'd say only as long as it took to plan the wedding."

  "The wedding," I said.

  Agreeing to marry him had seemed simple and natural enough, but I hadn't given a thought to the actual wedding yet. I'd been pretty preoccupied with other concerns, after all.

  "Yeah, the wedding. I thought all girls spent their time planning the whole thing out with their girlfriends?"

  I laughed. "Well, yeah, but by the time you're an adult, things have changed, you know? Like I said the other night, I never saw myself getting married. I don't know. I haven't really thought about it much. I guess I'm not a typical girl like that."

  Jeff smiled. "Baby, there's nothing typical about you, and that's exactly what I love about you. This just means we can figure it out together."

  "I thought guys hated planning weddings. Just agree to whatever his fiancee wants, and all that."

  "Well, I'm no more a typical guy than you are a typical girl. I want to be a part of it."

  "I guess not. So we're a matched pair like that, huh?"

  "Guess we are. So where do you start planning one of these things, anyway? I don't have any idea."

  "Neither do I, really," I admitted, "but I'd say location? Or date?"

  "Hmmm. Do we want it around here? Like in a church?"

  I laughed. "Where else would you have a wedding but in a church?"

  Jeff frowned at me. "Um, outside? On a beach?"

  "Oh, good point. So what do you want?"

  "I don't know. I like the idea of something fun. On a beach in Florida, maybe? Or even somewhere more exotic, like Jamaica?"

  "You know how expensive that would be?"

  He shrugged. "Yeah, suppose it would be kinda pricey, but worth it, to my thinking."

  I tried to picture myself on a beach, somewhere tropical, in a wedding dress, facing Jeff. "It would be awesome, wouldn't it? And it's not like there'd be a lot of people to invite."

  That sobered Jeff up quickly. "Guess not. For either of us, huh? I'd invite my mom and brother, probably Darren, my buddy from the Army."

  Who would I invite to my wedding?

  "There really isn't anyone for me besides Jamie," I said, the realization hurting more than I'd anticipated.

  "Oh, come on," Jeff said. "I know you don't have the best relationship with your mom, but you'd at least invite her to your wedding, wouldn't you?"

  I shrugged, uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. "I don't know. I haven't seen her in a long time. Years."

  Jeff's brow furrowed. "Really? Not even for holidays?"

  I stared into the rippling red surface of my wine. "Jamie and I both are pretty much alone, so we've spent the last few holidays together. Her past is even more messed up than mine, if you'll believe it."

  "Except for the other morning, I've never really heard you talk about your parents much. Or your past at all, come to think of it." He frowned into his wine glass. "Actually, I don't even know if you have any siblings. I've known you for six years. How is it I don't know that?"

  "I don't talk about it. Nothing to say." I shrugged, trying for a casual dismissal.

  Jeff didn't buy it. "Come on, Anna. Talk to me."

  I set my glass down. "There's not much to say. I have an older brother in the Marines, career. Joined up the day he graduated high school, eight years ago now. Then there's my cousin who lives in Miami. She's got her own life. We used to be close, except for every other weekend. But she got married as soon as she could and moved to Miami."

  "You don't talk to her, either?"

  I shrugged again. "We email back and forth a few times a month. I went down to visit her and her family...I think it was last summer? When I went to Florida a while ago."

  "Last summer. I remember you going to Florida," Jeff said. "So you'd invite her at least, right?"

  "Yeah, I suppose I would. Miri is great. She and her husband Kyle have boys, twins."

  "Twins? Does that run in your family? Or is it from her husband's side?"

  "You're really full of twenty questions tonight, aren't you?" I asked.

  "I want to know you. I realized after talking about your folks how little I know about your family."

  "Family." I spat the word, said it like a swear word. "I don't like my parents. That sounds awful, I guess, but it's the truth. There's a reason I don't talk to them. Or about them. My dad...he was the problem. Hopeless drunk. Held a job no problem, but he'd drink a bottle of Jack like it was nothing. Smacked us around a bit. Mom, mainly, me and Jared, too, if we got in the way.

  "Jared busted lo
ose as soon as he could. He'd stood up for Mom and me as much as he could, took some pretty hard knocks for us when Dad was at the bottom of the bottle. But when he had a way to get out, he took it, and I didn't blame him for it. I'd've joined too, but the military wasn't for me, and I knew it. Mom moved out with us when I was thirteen. Fourteen, maybe? Jared had just turned sixteen, so yeah. I would've been fourteen. Filed for divorce. Of course, my dad still got visitation every other week, which was pretty fucked up, since he drank even more after we left. He didn't hit us when it was just us. He was always going after Mom. He'd get drunk and turn on some stupid kids' movie. Bambi or something. We didn't argue, just wait till he passed out and turn on something else. That was pretty much it. We'd see him twice a month, he'd buy us some crap, take us for ice cream. He finally figured out we hated the Disney movies, so he started playing movies Mom wouldn't let us watch. But we started getting older, and he just...he didn't know what to do with me."

  "My brother has a daughter who's a teenager. Teenagers are difficult."

  "Especially when you didn't want kids in the first place, like in our case."

  "Oh, come on, Anna, I'm sure that's not--"

  "I heard him say it, Jeff." I took a too-big swallow of wine and coughed. "I was listening out my window after Dad dropped Jared and me off, one Sunday night. He and Mom were arguing. Dad said he had to skip visitation for the next few weekends. Called it 'business.' Mom called it bullshit. She wanted him to spend more time with us, and he kept making excuses. Eventually my mom badgered him into getting so pissed off he just admitted it. 'I never wanted kids, Laura!' is exactly what he said. Mom flipped the fuck out on him. I refused to see him after that. I guess I always knew he didn't want me, but to hear it..."

  "That's a shitty thing to say."

  "Yeah. He knew it, too. He saw me in my window, tried to explain how that's not what he meant, but--"

  "But the damage was done." Jeff's eyes were full of compassion.

  "Yeah. That was when I was fifteen. I didn't really see him except for a handful of times since. He died a couple years ago. Cirrhosis of the liver."

  "What about your mom?"

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. I hated talking about my parents. "Jeff, this is history. I hate--"

  "It's important to me."

  I finished the wine and spun the cup by the stem between my fingers. "God. Okay. Well, my mom is more complicated. I love her, I do. She raised me by herself after she and Dad split up, and she did the best she could. Then she met her new husband, Ed. She changed when she met him. I don't know even know what it is, exactly, but she's just...different. She was always high-strung, passionate and outspoken and all that--"